September 13th
Walk my
PAIN
1.8 million women live with chronic pain
Woman in Australia are:
In pain
The most common person in Australia living with chronic pain is a woman in the peak of her working years.
Ignored
Women are sick of being ignored by the health system that is meant to be there to support them.
Under-resourced
1 out of 100 people living with chronic pain receive multidisciplinary care.
Disempowered
Justice for these women is more genuinely accessible and affordable multidisciplinary pain management.
Help us help you
If you would prefer to donate via bank deposit, please use the following details:
BSB: 032-102
Account Number: 757027
Reference: Your name + WALK
If you would like a receipt for your donation, please email admin@painaustralia.org.au
We are asking for
Multidisciplinary Pain Care being accessible to every Australian who needs it, particularly a woman in the peak of her working years, it’s time to walk our pain and get the care we need via GPs and supported by pharmacies.
What we want
1
Ten allied heath visits subsidised per year. Ten psychology appointments per year via doubling of funding for GP Management Plans.
2
Pain care nurses to be a flexible online option for GP Practices to access to get treatment plans actioned.
3
New training for GPs and Pharmacy Staff in chronic pain multidisciplinary management.
What's needed
$70 million for a doubling of the Allied Health Visits allowed under the GP Management Plans for Chronic Conditions.
This will save:
$3.7 million to the health system (net intervention costs).
$65 million in reducing absenteeism.
$203 million in improved wellbeing.
Benefit to cost ratio of 4.9 to 1 for this investment.
Share your story
I have been suffering pain in my left arm since Jun July last year 2023. When stressed at work, pain level increased. I started to wear bandages. Pain continued. Had 4 ultra sounds since then, now diagnosed with adhesive capsulitis. I am in a debilitating state, can’t do any work. Sleep and wake up with pain. Life has turned upside down.
AC
I am reading my last two weeks on your pages. This is unconscionable malpractice. I was literally sideswiped professionally when my GP broke his ankle and nobody would treat me. I had gone to a pain clinic in Gosford, and unbeknownst to me, this quack put a letter on my medical file that has all but made me, a compliant patient and a medic, thankyou, into a criminal from one day to the next. I have a long and illustrious history of degenerative OA. I didn't have time to deal with this sudden incapacitation. I have been given nonsense stories about how pain is misunderstood, etc. No it isn't. If it was misunderstood Hospice would abandon it. Fortunately the policy makers in Australia are not cruel enough to do this to the actively dying, but they are killing people with debilitating pain. I live from steroid injection to the next set three months later. This is a problem. The cavailer attitude everyone has with this new directive is irresponsible and I am actually going to take one practitioner to court. She literally falsified a diagnosis to support this idiocy. Where I come from that is punishable by fine and by jail time. I don't give a fig for what policy is in place. That is malpractice. This latest hell they are putting us through is cruel and irresponsible and I hope that NSW has a lot of money to support the lot of us who will not be able to work when they have finished with us. Personally I am not ready to be in a wheelchair. I am literally researching different countries to see if I can find one that won't make me live as a crippled person.
Anonymous
Hi this is my chronic pain story, if it helps even one person out there and to remind another person to keep going I’m going to share my story and how I am dealing with chronic pain since the age of 13, I am now in my early 20’s and it’s been a hell of a journey. I went to a sports high school growing up as that was the only school local. It first started with severe abdominal pain, period pain pains going right down to my legs, stiff joints and muscles to the point I couldn’t walk or move. I would get in so much pain I would collapse and have low blood pressure. It was scary every time I would stand my blood pressure would go extremely low causing me to faint. When I was in class I would dread the bell to ring for the next class as I knew I would pass out when I stood up and end up in hospital. My teachers thought it was somatic or just doing that for attention when in fact I was unwell. Even the gastroenterologist I saw in Sydney Children’s Randwick thought to was somatic or rumination syndrome. It wasn’t. At the age of 16-17 I was researching other gastroenterologists that could help me as I would go months without going to the bathroom - severe constipation and vomiting. I couldn’t eat everything I ate just came right back up. It wasn’t until I saw a gastroenterologist in a private hospital and he thought I had a functional GI condition colonic inertia (slow transit constipation) I ended up seeing a surgeon up in Sydney for help. We trialed a cecostomy tube which is a tube that helps irrigate the large bowel in hopes of gaining regular movements and building elasticity in the bowel. After 12 months of so I still wasn’t well - the surgeon decided a total colectomy with ileorectal anastomosis would help me - newsflash it did helped me a lot 4 years later I haven’t seems a gastro specialist since. During bowel surgery they found endometriosis - put a mirena IUD in place. After that surgery I was having abnormal uterine bleeding, i trialled low dose zoladex for a few years with no help and other medications to stop my periods as I was ending up in hospital every month due to pain and low blood pressure. I found a pain specialist up at WHRIA and he understood me and helped me with the uterine bleeding and pudendal neuralgia - pelvic floor spasms. I am not fully healed but still disabled and have a lot of mental health problems but I am healing. I am trying to make a life that is fulfilling despite the pain. The system in Australia for women with chronic pain is quite poor. I was judged a lot until finding specialists that understood me and took me seriously. I don’t take any opioids I don’t judge anyone that needs to for their pain but personally it just makes my pain worse and only on nerve pain medications such as Lyrica. Mindfulness and distractions have helped me a lot, having a list of people I can call when I’m in distress, LifeLine or other helplines for mental health. Whenever I’m in pain and cannot sleep I usually make myself a cup of tea, watch my favourite TV show and cuddles with my cat and dog. Just wanted to say as well you aren’t alone and chronic pain is very difficult it’s has it’s ups and downs - it’s a journey. You got this and don’t compare yourself to anyone as one person’s pain can be completely different to someone’s else’s, your experience though is very valid.
Anonymous
I have lived with chronic pain for many years, and have learned a lot about how to manage, but also how difficult it can be. I am glad Australia has organisations like Painaustralia to support those of us living with pain.
Anonymous
I am now 56 years young and have suffered an ongoing horrific pain journey since my teens.. Below are my rough notes I made to try and make sense of my life back in 2022. Not long after this i had a horrific marriage breakdown where my husband had been cheating on me with three women and bought one home to meet me in the middle of the night as she was blackmailing him. I have rebuilt my life and have wonderful support. I use a range of healthy teechniques to manage my well being. I would like to help others learn from my experiences, especially on the pain management specialist and disgusting way you can get labelled along the way.Eptoptic pregnancy at 21 - no one told me they removed part of my left Fallopian tube ◦ ◦ First large cyst removed - size of a lemon via full laparotomy at 22 ◦ Had further large cyst removed on left twice via laparoscopes ◦ Needed help to full pregnant as found my ovaries were producing too many eggs but not releasing many ◦ Put on clomed and charted my temp - fell pregnant with Cind at 23 ◦ After 17 hours labour had emergency Caesarian ◦ 3 months later had another ovarian cyst removed ◦ For next 2 yrs virtually had large cyst nearly every 2 months removed laparoscopically ◦ One time had one burst & cause my pelvis to be filled blood - my gyno David Hill told me afterwards if I was ever in that much pain again to get seen immediately I was lucky I did not bleed out. ◦ 1993 - Finally my left ovary was removed as it was the worst with scars plus I could not get pregnant with this one as it had no functioning tube ◦ Throughout this time had constant bad migraines treated with pethadine injections ◦ Left Mark in 1994 as I had enough of living with a child a bedwetter and as I worked out later was dressing up in my clothes - especially underwear. Plus he had lost all our money (actually was mine that I had saved since I was 12 yrs old) ◦ Migraines continued to plague me ◦ Had a few more ovarian cysts removed throughout this time ◦ 1997 - Hit my head on a marble fireplace - had CSF leaking from my nose - put in Austin for a few days ◦ Migraines continued to be treated with that crap ◦ Christmas Day 1998 fractured 4 sets of transverse processes of my vertebrae. Was in hospital for about 5 days. Laid up for six weeks on strong pain killers. ◦ Was put on Diagesic which is now banned - this damaged my liver to the point where I nearly died. Was put in hospital and took 10 weeks for my liver function tests to be normal. ◦ More ovarian cysts over this time removed laparoscopically ◦ 2002 fell pregnant with Decs, early on it was thought it could be twins but actually had a huge ovarian cyst the size of a coke bottle - had to wait till after 13 wk mark then had laparoscope surgery which they managed to drain 500ml out of cyst but could not remove safely. ◦ Decs was born via caesarean in 2002, they tried to remove cyst at this time too but could not find it ◦ The Caesar wound did not heal on one side & re opened - had to stick huge pads over and eventually it healed ◦ 3 months later the cyst returned & they removed it laparoscopically- little did I know they used a crap process to do this (stitched instead of cautersing) which I think drove issues ◦ Late 2003 we decided to try for another child.. I was put on clomed again. Within a month I was pregnant again. ◦ At about 8 week mark lost one twins at the gym. ◦ Went on till 16 weeks when Cinda & I were hit with a bad flue. Mine progressed to a bad infection where I was so sick I was told I sepsis. ◦ Paul was in Brisbane on a work trip so Mum came to help me. We went for my latest ultrasound where they found the baby had died. They scheduled me for a procedure the next day. ◦ Unfortunately that afternoon I went into labour & it took six hours to complete losing the remaining twin. ◦ 3-4 months after had a further ovarian cyst & I told the surgeon if the ovary was not viable just get rid of it - actually regret this statement to this day.. they removed it.. no more babies for us - well me really. Plus the joy of experiencing the worst kind of menopause at 36.. ◦ Not long after this I my back began to crap out & had trouble managing even the most basic tasks - it just throbbed non stop & if I stood for long times it would be agonising. ◦ Ended up being put under pain management teams as I was diagnosed with “chronic pain” the shittiest label for you to get when they don’t know why you are in pain… ◦ So on the merry go round I go.. treatments varied ◦ Put on a range of meds - including an anti psychotic seroquel which is now banned for use in this way.. made me so easy to manage because it literally makes you virtually mentally incompetent and so hungry..so you gain weight but can’t exercise as you are so unaware of your life. ◦ Was put in “The Avenue” hospital on an epidural for days. No one checked the sites where the needle went in until I started to complain of feeling burning at the site.. then I felt unwell. Of course they had given me an infection in my spine. They ended up getting specialists out from Fairfield infectious hospital to help with what intravenous antibiotics I needed to have.. ◦ Throughout these years I was often put in hospital to manage & just fed strong pain killers such as pethadine every four hours for weeks at a time. ◦ Then came the brilliant (not) innovation - the implanted spinal chord stimulator. Where they implant this electronic receiver and electrodes which they attach to your spinal nerves. Then you get an external device which gets programmed to you. Meant to interrupt the neural pain pathways.. well first they implant a trial version.. I was told this is nothing and for the weeks this is going on you can carry on. Well they they half implant it and have the leads poking out your back with a rather large open wound. I had large pads on my back which I bled through constantly & my carrying was in a wheelchair as I could not walk as it would then bleed more. \Which it did anyway.. they called the trial a success and implanted the full version. It never worked & in fact seemed to stimulate more pain. After two years I had it explanted. ◦ Back pain got worse and I had to quit working in Sep 2007 & for 4 years continued to be treated like a piece of dirt by hospitals as they often suspect chronic pain patients of being drug seekers. ◦ Then came the ketamine therapy.. great new way to treat chronic pain.. a horse tranquilliser! They said it winds down your hypersensitive pain signals and so stupid me goes along. Well you go into hospital and they put you on an infuser which starts at a really high dosage and then they wind it down over a few weeks. I don’t remember much about these weeks at.. I couldn’t tell you who I had seen or whether I was awake or asleep. It caused terrifying out of body experiences where I thought I had died & couldn’t get back in my body. Like I was stolen away from my loved ones never to return…. I had this forced on me over a number of years as the only treatment that could work & I dreaded it. I only agreed when I was so bad I could barely move without pain. ◦ When the pain was so bad I often had to be ambulanced to hospital- only to be treated as a lepper. You see you don’t have specialise to practice as a pain management specialist. Mainly anaesthetists as they know the pharmacology so well that can keep you silent. ◦ I gave up getting help & had almost resigned myself to fate when whilst serving a stint in a post surgical rehabilitation hospital I was told of a neurosurgeon who was working on back pain & had cured a few patients. ◦ Greg Malham .. I got a referral & he immediately sent me for a diagnostic test which mapped areas of inflammation in combination with ct - he straight said he could fix my issue as it was from the disc at L4 & L5 which is two of the vertebrae I had fractured originally. Whilst he could not connect them directly he could not disconnect it either. So he implanted a prosthetic disc.. and I have never looked back. I can now move as normal. ◦ Whilst being rehabilitated from this op my physio said to me that she suspected my right foot had issues due not weight bearing on it.. I didn’t pay much attention to it.. thought hey if I just get my back better I don’t care. ◦ About 12 months later my foot had begun collapsing on me & I would get sudden excruciating cramps if my forefoot and it would shoot up my toes. So off to the podiatrist I go..they tried strapping & padding but it continued so they finally sent me for a special u,tra sound which showed all my plantar plates had holes so I was standing basically on bones & I had a neuroma between two toes (a tumour that grows around nerves). So they referred me to Andrew Kingsford who in their opinion could offer me a procedure to fix & that he was the best. ◦ So off I trot in 2016 to see this podiatrist surgeon (turns this is an oxymoron) - he spends hours talking me through how he would fix it. Pointing out that at most I would need only a few days off work. ◦ Then I get to the “day surgery” & in pre op am asked if I need a medical certificate- I say nope should be fine for a few days. He looks at me funny & says that I will be laid up for at least two weeks! In hindsight I should have got up & ran there & then. So I have two toes fused (rods poking out for six weeks) and my neuroma turned to over 3cm & harder to dislodge. Went home… well my foot was black from toes to above my ankle. I could not sleep with even just a sheet on. Had to use a shoe box over my foot to form a sort frame to keep everything away from it to get some sleep. Had numerous nerve blocks done (about six injections at a time of local anaesthetic which lasted 24 hrs) to be able to cope. ◦ Upshot is there is no surgical qualification needed to be a podiatric surgeon, & my foot was so badly damaged that I now have osteoarthritis throughout all my forefoot . I have had to see an orthopaedic surgeon and have four operations to repair the damage done so I can get my toes to almost function normally, also my metatarsals have had to cut back and screwed together to try and cure the arthritis. As they I have been royally screwed. ◦ I did leave out that in I think it was Jan 2017 I was not feeling too great and was unwell. We went to Adelaide to watch the Tour down under & I stayed in the van many times as I was not feeling right. I did a few rides & Paul & I did do the big mountain ride on one of our final days, I felt utter crap while doing it but battled on. Then we got home day before Aus day. We went to friends bbq on Aus Day & I felt ok but then began to get extreme abdo pain. Paul got me home but later took me to Monash hospital.. waited a few hours then found out I had pancreatitis & was put HDU for days .. got my blood sugars back under control after loads of fluids being pumped in and me not being allowed to eat for days. Not allowed to move, had a catheter inserted. Then transferred to normal ward, had surgery to remove my gall bladder then went home after weeks in hospital. ◦ There have been other bits & pieces such as removal of adhesions where scar tissue has formed and stuck my bowels together to stomach … still live with these as the only treatment is to surgically remove them then guess what the surgery causes more scar tissue. I am determined not to have this done until it is to the point I can’t move my bowels or the pain becomes so bad I can’t function. ◦ The final blow came last year 2021 when I had my sinus surgery.. have had loads of infections and struggled to breathe out of my left plus got constant headaches & could not sleep. Well I was terrified of this op.. don’t know why.. I am usually very blasé about ops. I got an staph infection.. the op was on Mon 15th March I went home the next day.. totally normal. Told to expect discomfort as the padding stays in and eventually dissolves- some of it. I was pretty uncomfortable & every time the sun got on my face I felt extreme burning sensation in my sinuses. Then on the Sunday I bent over and my nose started gushing blood… went to ED as instructed if this happens. They kept for a few hours, I fell asleep then woke up & they were about to send me home when the blood gushed again & it came out my mouth & my nose non stop. Upshot was I ended up at The Alfred that night then in Cabrini twice over next month on intravenous & oral antibiotics..the orals continued for twelve weeks & pain continued for 7 month. ◦ Now I am trying to avoid another op on my foot which will have all my tendons cut to try & finally get my toes to function as the balancer they should be. Nothing will stop the foot pain.. but hey it is heaps better. ◦ I have been hamstrung to build lasting friendships as I have always been in survival mode…also a huge complex that I must be really horrible person - somehow I have brought this on myself.
Colleen Dillon
Where to start…. Lower back pain commenced during pregnancy and got worse following birth of my son almost 30 years ago… gradually got worse over the years until I was in pain sitting, standing and sometimes lying down. Eventually scans revealed degenerative disc disease - had to wait 12 months in agony to get surgery as did not have private health insurance, operation cost $11,000 out of pocket and took 12 months to recover from… then when covid happened and pools shut and I could not swim my physical condition deteriorated. Now doing lots of things to manage and reduce pain but still struggle - life is an ongoing battle
Anonymous
I did a TEDx talk about my pain story. It even mentions Pain Australia! You can see it on YouTube under my name
Lauren Cannell
‘It’s Time’ Jodie’s Journey - 80’s to 2020’s. Read more of my story @ www.jodiesjourney.com Once upon a time, a young lady of the 80’s had perfect health & a future as bright as the stars. Marriage came, two daughters were born and suddenly, a lump was found, on the edge of the R breast. At only 34 years of age, with two small babes to look after - and a full time job in aerospace, she is suddenly in a place of absolute terror. I was ignored as a woman seeking help for my declining body. Over time - I’ve noticed a troubling trend. Women of all ages, including young girls are often ignored about symptoms and assumed that they’re just anxious about nothing. Unfortunately, disciplinary action is what occurs when concerns are ignored. This is exactly what happened to my former GP, plus 6 other doctors and 2 alternative practitioners who ignored my concerns in during an 11 month period from 2005 to 2006. It took 21 consultations before I was forced to go to the ED. In late September, 2006 - I went to the emergency department and my diagnostic reveal was shocking. Due to the delay to my diagnosis - I was now the owner of a spinal cord injury - with an eventual atrophied leg and constant nerve pain. I had stage 4 Follicular Lymphoma - eating through my body, into nerves, bones and muscles. The delay contributed to my cancer almost immediately returning and a further different blood cancer developed, due to the extra chemotherapy I needed to get rid of the 2nd relapse of Lymphoma. There are NO LAWS and NO PROTECTIONS for patients that can stop a practitioner from dismissing concerns about symptoms. Why not? IT IS TIME - IT IS TIME FOR WOMEN TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY every time they visit a doctor. Over a long period of time - triple cancer and then a bone marrow transplant - plus an avoidable spinal cord injury - my pain got worse and worse and now this is where I am: • Nerve pain S1 - controlled by 10mg Norspan Patch & 75mg Lyrica. (Spinal cord injury) • GVHD eye pain - controlled by Autologous serum eye drops. (Graft Vs. Host Disease - GVHD) • GVHD mouth pain - controlled by Steroid mouth wash’s and Cellcept. (Graft Vs. Host Disease - GVHD) • Allover Body Pain - controlled by Targin, Paracetamol, Nurofen + Bed Rest. (Central Nervous System Damage from chemotherapy agent called ‘Fludarabine’. Women often allow ourselves to be treated 2nd best - particularly in the doctors office. Ladies rise up and take control of how YOU want to be treated. Read more of my story @ www.jodiesjourney.com
Jodie L Guerrero
It all started when I woke up one morning and I felt a strange twinge in my ankle. That twinge turned into a long painful journey of doctors accusing me of faking my pain, wheelchair use, surgeries, and people telling me "Just don't think about it!". 9 years later, I was finally diagnosed with CRPS and now deliver therapy and counselling services specialising in chronic pain so that others feel heard and believed, and receive chronic pain education that I did not have access to.
M Maggs
I have had covid 6 times and have been left with residual problems. Re-occuring head sores. Irratic Insulin behaviour but worst of all Allodynis. Im currentl in bed today becuase if i move it is like fire on my skin. It even hurts to type. Today it is all over every surface of my skin. Other days not so bad . Bending my elbow is painful. all about and 8 0r 9 level.I am feeling so low with it and I hate being a burden and letting my own patients down. Dr put me on Endep low mg. But nothing seems to help. I want to go to sleep to get some relief. There doesn't seem to n any help and its not a common complication of covid. I live in a rural town where getting into a dr is months. The other day I made a poor choice to drink a bottle of champagne ... it worked but only as a diversion and an unhealthy one at that. So that won;t be tried again. !
Lisa R
My name is Lizabeth Milne, I am a 29 year old mum of 1, aged 5. I am severely physically disabled and I live with Chronic Pain every single day. When I was 18 years old I was in a motor vehicle accident that left me with A minor brain injury, severe bilateral leg injuries and minor upper body injuries which include but aren’t limited too, dislocating and breaking both ankles and knees, breaking my right femur in 2 places, partially cutting off my left foot, breaking every single bone in both feet, a broken left arm and a broken right clavicle. This was in 2012, I was flown from the accident scene to The Alfred Hospital in Melbourne where I underwent multiple emergency surgeries to reconstruct my legs and save my life. I was in a coma for 7 days, Where I received multiple blood transfusions and operations, when I awoke my journey to the life I know now was underway. Following my Coma I was an inpatient for many many months with repeat surgeries happening often to “correct” things they had noticed on subsequent scans. I went through many months of in-house physiotherapy where I learned to walk again despite the original prognosis being that I would be wheelchair bound. Upon leaving hospital there I was, 19 years old, severely disabled, unable to work with a new fulltime job of managing my disability and what would become my hectic life of juggling specialist appointments, surgeries and travelling to receive care as I was and am living rurally in Mildura Victoria. In the years between 2012 and now in 2023 I have undergone many more surgeries and inpatient stays as I navigate the medical system trying to control an uncontrollable disability. My body is actively decaying from the injuries I received that day and as a result I suffer from severe chronic pain. Some specialists I have seen have stated that my injuries are the worst they’ve seen and they are unsure what to do other than keep me comfortable as they can. Out of surgical options and physical therapy options 11 years post accident I am on a form of pain management that has been likened to end of life care, without the end in sight. I am one of few Australians who have received approval for multiple and ongoing Ketamine Infusions in Melbourne under a team of amazing specialists, but it wasn’t an easy journey to get here. In 2017 I had my son, pregnancy being severely disabled was incredibly difficult but I am lucky that I have an amazing support system in my family, mainly my Mum and my Husband. My pain was being managed by medication in the leadup to my pregnancy and monitored closely by my doctors as I was on Endone, Gabapentin, Endep. These medications are not typically safe for pregnancy but it was safer for me to be on the medications then off of them. I spent my entire pregnancy terrified that my son would be born with Neo-Natal dependency to medications, thankfully he was not. The year from 2017 to 2018 went relatively smoothly after my son was born, my body was going well enough and my pain managed. In 2018 I would undergo yet another double leg surgery on my ankle and my knee to clean out multiple spurs and growths that had made themselves known. However this time, the surgery would fail and leave me in more pain than before because my injuries and the growths were far worse than anticipated and caused the surgeon a lot of trouble. Coming out of surgery I was on bed-rest for 8 weeks, something I had grown accustomed too but what I wasn’t used to was the amount of acute pain I would begin to suffer daily. My GP at the time had retired and I was forced to see a new to the area GP as options are limited in rural areas. I was assured by the GP that I was seeing that she knew I was disabled and she knew what she was doing with my medications. She would go on to remove Endep and Gabapentin from my medication schedule and push me onto two different kinds of opiates, endone and palexia. I was unhappy with her course of action as mixing opioids is extremely dangerous and there is very little evidence to suggest that they work for my kind of pain, but I trusted my doctor until one day she stopped providing me scripts. She had flagged me a drug seeker and taken me off of her books without warning, I began to panic because she was refusing me medications, she had taken me off of my regular medications and she was also denying that I was disabled despite having access to my 30+ surgical reports, thousands of scans and specialists’ reports. I quickly transferred to a new GP who suggested that I seek out someone called a Pain management Specialist, something I had done in the past at the request of my surgeons but not something that I had thought to do in recent times. I was lucky enough to be able to link in with the Pain Management Specialist I had seen when I first had my car accident and they were quick to rectify the GPs mistakes. Taken off the endone and put on: Endep, Palexia, Baclofen, Panadol, Celebrex daily and we’d try: Ketamine Infusions. Ketamine infusions have proven to lower the use for medications and also lower the amount of pain that someone feels, my first ketamine Infusion was before the pandemic, and it went absolutely amazing. I walked out of the infusion on very minimal medication and right into a pandemic. While the pandemic was rampart, I was unable to receive treatment as the government ruled that pain management was NOT essential and this would lead to me going without a ketamine infusion for 2 years. My pain in this time got unbearable and almost unmanageable as my condition worsened with time. GPs under severe stress from the pandemic returned to “Take whatever you need to get through and we’ll sort it out later” mode. My ketamine infusions were reinstated in 2022 and once again my pain became “controllable” for 6 months at a time (if I’m lucky). But it doesn’t end there, that’s just the context. My pain specialist can only do so much, he doesn’t prescribe my medications, he just tells my GP what to do. My GP has stated more times than I can count that he does not have the adequate training and knowledge on severe chronic pain to prescribe and change my medication routine, this has led to MANY moments where I have had a fall or an emergency and I have ran out of my medication to him feeling stuck and unsure of what to do. A situation that causes me severe stress and I am sure to some extent him as well. Getting scripts a day or 2 early shouldn’t be so difficult but often it takes hours of negotiation and planning and pleading, lot’s of thinking and double checking that it’s safe on my GPs end. Living a life in chronic pain when you’re in your 20’s is really hard, it’s hard watching my family and friends get married, have babies, achieve their career goals while I spend many of my days in bed unable to participate in day to day life because I’m in pain or scared that if I do participate in life I’ll run out of medication and cause a problem for myself, my family and my extremely overworked doctor. Living with chronic pain and disability means that I’m writing this in my bed, I’ve been here for 4 days now after caring for my sick son all week and over doing it. It means that I’m writing this and I haven’t showered in 5 days and I don’t know when my body will allow me to shower because right now water hurts my body so much that I cry when it touches my skin. Living with chronic pain and disability means being embarrassed to be around your own family and friends because sometimes the pain is so bad that you become incontinent and mess yourself because pain makes you unable to control your bodily functions. This week I have cried, screamed, vomited, wet myself. I am severely depressed and I don’t see a future for myself because my specialists can’t tell me what we’ll do if the ketamine infusions stop working. I am 29. The average life expectancy for a woman in Australia that does not drink or smoke is 83 years of age. That would mean that I have 54 years left on this earth if I didn’t pass away sooner. There is no way that Ketamine Infusions will continue to work for another 54 years and my condition worsens every single day that I weight-bare. I currently have 0 cartilage in both ankles, 15% cartilage in both knees. I have the body of a 90 year old at the age of 29. Why am I still feeling guilty for seeking appropriate pain management services when my condition is extremely valid? Why does my GP feel inadequate in 2023 when he has MULTIPLE disabled patients. Myself and other chronic pain sufferers deserve the right to adequate and knowledgeable health care. My son deserves a mother that can manage her disability and efficiently so I am not bed ridden for weeks at a time. The really sad thing is, I am one of the “lucky” ones that has access to a specialist and treatments such as ketamine infusions and although my disability awards me little future I DO have access to services that the average Australian Woman DOES NOT. Before my accident in 2012, during my high school years I suffered from a condition called Endometriosis. This is a condition where your uterine lining grows on the outside of your uterus and on/around your other organs. I had undergone many key-hole surgeries to investigate and treat this condition and been sent home with just Panadol and a “you’ll be right”. In 2023 we have come to learn that endometriosis is one of the most painful conditions a human can endure. I also believe there is a strong bias against women in the pain management world, as I have witnessed the completely different treatments my husband and myself have received in our emergency departments. My husband is often offered BOXES of pain medication with repeats and a laugh, where I and many other women have been denied. The truth is I could write for hours about the intricate details of our system, a system I know so intimately. I could write about the 4 different pain management specialists I saw and about the one who told me to give up, it wasn’t going to get any better so I may as well just smoke weed until I eventually give up. (I have never done illegal drugs, drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes) I could write about the times that my pain has been so bad I’ve thrown up and my physiotherapist has rushed me to hospital only for them to say “we aren’t allowed to treat chronic conditions in the emergency department, go home” I am angry at a system that doesn’t work, I see everyone who is in it and I want them to know they are valid. I do not see a light at the end of my tunnel but I will fight for you all to have one at the end of yours. Good luck. - Lil